Well, most of you have heard the news from facebook or my big mouth that I am having a second dose of pregos. I wanted to wait to blog about it when we found out what we were having...but once again I get fatter than fat at the beginning and have to wear maternity clothes the second I pee on a stick. I also wanted to wait for the shock of it to die down so I could be completely excited to share the news. Well, it hasn't died down all the way yet. Don't get me wrong...we are pumped about this new blessing. But, I just may have 8 million reasons why I am a little nervous :)...but keep reading cause I promise there is some excitment along with those nerves.
*Hints of another edition:
1. Marathon training. Nate, my dad, and I all go into the St. George marathon. I was ecstatic to be able to run this year because last year I had just barley had little Kade. Training was kicking my butt big time. I couldn't in a rhythm. Weather we ran three miles or ten miles...nothing felt good.
2. My favorite pair of soccer shorts that finally started to fit...suddenly started to not fit.
3. The fact that I would pay at least $1,000 dollars to be able to nap all day long.
4. I completely lost my milk, Kade naturally weened himself from wanting to nurse(apparently the taste can change when you are preg), and Kade started loosing weight because of it.
*I dragged my feet a bit on taking a test, because I didn't know if I was ready to know yet. My baby is still a baby. Trying to get pregnant with Kade took months of stress and buying tons of expensive tests. This time I just took a cheapo dollar day test like 5 minutes before Nate had to leave to work. It came up positive like I knew deep down it would. I was left with this news alone and got myself all worked up. Here is why...
*Fears:
1. I suck at functioning on no sleep. Kade never slept till 8 months...I hope that most of it was my fault because I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and we didn't know he had bad acid reflex.
2. Home alone nights. Nate only gets a week off work when the baby comes. And that is if we save up vacation days. I am really nervous about getting two babies ready for bed by myself. I am alone most nights and I am picturing trying to do my nightly routine with Kade and the other baby in the next room just screaming. Hopefully we figure something out that works for all of us.
3. Keeping two babies quiet during the day while Nate sleeps. I am already not so good at that because my house looks like Toys'R'Us and everything plays music. I kinda love kids toys.
4. Pregnant. I am just afraid of pregnancy. I am not really good at it. I get so huge and never feel so good. This time around it is going better because I am just embraceing my fatness and eating whatever I want. Not a good strategy some might say? I am just choosing to not stress about it. I didn't even loose all my prego weight with Kade..oppsy, we will be adding to the top of those layers. Why can't it be like in the olden days where being fat meant you were rich and elegant? I am also a little afraid of labor and the 150 stitches thing. That hurt for a while :)
*My own selfish thoughts that for some reason I am willing to share:
-I am getting lots of good sleep right now and nervous to give that back up.
-I started being able to play soccer a few times a week and volleyball, and now I have to take a break again.
-Our life just starting getting into a routine. Nate is back into school, Kade is walking and learning so much every day. I am starting to get a little free time during Kade's nap to actually cook dinner.
-I am worried that I won't be able to give both kids the attention they need.
-I hope that Kade will adjust to a whole new life where he is not the only spoiled one. Life right now literally revolves around him and I am pretty sure he loves that.
-It is hard to believe that I can love another child as much as I love Kade. Does that just come naturally to have just as much love for the next child? It is just hard to fathom.
*Excitement!:
1. I have a lot of close friends and family that have had complications with either; pregnancies, miscarriages, being able to conceive, preterm labor, and/or babies close in age. I watch these women who just press forward and stay positive and they are such a great example to me. My mom had me only 15 months after Jeff and things worked out just fine. I am truly excited that we were blessed to get pregnant without the months and months of trying and worrying that came with Kade. I don't want to call this baby a surprise at all because we knew that we wanted more kids for sure! It just goes to show that our Father in Heaven has his own time table for things even though it wasn't in our game plan just then.
2. I get to buy more baby clothes and toys which is one of my greatest talents. Now if money just grew on trees!
3. I have another excuse not have to have a spotless house. You can't expect a mother of two to have a clean house can you??!!
4. I am excited that this time around it has to be easier....right??? I have not spent one single minute stressing over pregnancy facts on the Internet. I now know that it is WAY better to supplement your child with formula than starve them (no matter what any crazy lactation lady says). I now know that if a baby cries for a few minutes that it will be just fine. I know that I was the craziest first time mother that ever existed and that I don't want to be like that again. I hope that I can enjoy my infant this time around. (Secretly, I am still a little afraid of infants). Nursing is now not so foreign to me and I was able to do it with Kade for about 10 months so I can hopefully do it again. I am not counting down the days till my next doctor apt. so I can ask my 100 questions that I have prepared for the doctor. In fact, I am lucky if I can even remember that I have an appointment and they go so fast because I can't really think of good questions at all. It is a little bit sad in a way. Because there is nothing like that first time and all that energy you put into it. I feel like this one will be due before it even hit me that I am expecting. But, I have to take that as a good thing for me because all that anxiety, and unknown/newness of the first one about did me in.
5. They will be little buddies. I will love watching them grow up together. I am already doing naps, and diapers so bring it on. Kade loves kids and I am sure he will be such a great big brother. It is kind of weird to admit. But I always had the feeling another one would be close behind. I think there is another strong willed spirit up there that was anxious to come down and teach his/her mommy a thing of two.
6. I have an amazing husband! I know he will help me as much as his schedule lets him. He is a great pregnant supporter. He wants to come to all my doc. apts. He loves, loves, loves babies. He lets me take a nap everyday and doesn't mind if that means I don't get much else done between playing with Kade and sleeping. He helps me when I am sick. And most of all he still thinks I am cute when I am chubby!
*Last, but not least....how it happened:
I called my Walgreen's to refill my monthly birth control pill to find out that the refills had expired. I called my doctor to get them to extend my refills. They called back (which of course I missed the call) and left this message. "I went ahead and gave you more refills on the pill. But just wondering, Are you still nursing at least 5 times a day? The mini pill isn't effective unless you are nursing a lot. You might one to come in and get labs drawn before you start a new birth control just to make sure" Hmmmm, nope... I had not been nursing that frequently for months. Didn't go right in a draw my labs, but I didn't start taking another pill because you shouldn't when you are preg. Then all those "Hints" that I stated before started popping up. I got the dollar day test. Got my blood drawn the next day...and wallah! We will be a family of four in March if everything goes smoothly. I love this baby so much already. I love that Nate pats it and talks to her (he thinks it is little Zoey) I am definitely nervous for what is to come, but I have to say that I am NOW more excited than nervous.
Now I may as well do my usual monster long post and get all my updates done in one: We have been doing TONS of fishing lately. Nate wanted to get lots in before school started and before our next baby comes and we are unable to go as much. Kade can't get enough of it.
Nate was able to take his dad and brother out a few times while I was having a girls weekend.
Love my hubby and my lil gubba!
My little fisher man. He leans over the boat and stirs his cooking spoon in the lake. I am not sure he will catch a fish that way but it is really funny.
Oh and Ps...I haven't done anything with my hair yet. Everyday I change my mind and I am still trying to find someone who is good but cheap (is that even possible)??
Just thought I throw this pic in there. It was the middle of the night. Nate and I go peek at him before we go to bed ourselves. We found him with his little arm clamped around the crib post and were laughin so hard. We had to risk waking him up with the flash to take the pic. Yes, I hadn't done laundry in a while hence his random jammies :)
My old roommate Liz is getting married next week! I had my first weekend away from Kade and it was really, really, really hard leaving. It wasn't even like I was leaving him with a babysitter. I left him with his dad! :) It was good for me to realise that he could still survive without me. Nate was great to send me a zillion of pics of Kade to my phone. And the girls where great to let me show them every single one. It really was SOOOO fun to spend time with girls. I sometimes wish I could have a girl roommate just a few days a week. Your wardrobe doubles...you get to gossip lots, and you don't even need reality TV becuase you have your own drama. I loved living with a bunch of friends and I have been so lucky to have the best roommates all through college and after. Dani, Liz, and Sombs where some of my old roomies. And Emma, Naomi, and Cate are some other of Liz's friends. We stayed in Somb's time share and it had an amazing pool with a lazy river. We each got our own bed and everything. My dang camera died after only taking ONE picture :( We had one night out on the town. Liz was adorned with a crown and blue boowa to stand out, while the rest of us wore black. My friends were dying at my casual mommy wardrobe. I am the only one of these girlfriends that has a kid and is LDS. But luckily they found me something cute that still was long enough with sleeves. I live in AZ and have the worst tan of the whole group. And then I am the chubby prego with all the cute skinny girls! I sometimes forget what it is like to spend more than 10 min getting ready. Emma did everyones makeup. Cate curled my hair. And we picked through each others suitcases. So fun! I was glad that we only did one fancy night and the rest of the time was by the pool and casual. That is more my style :)
Wow, that was a hugo post. I need to get a video up soon of our little walker. It is so cute to see Kade toddeling around. And I thought he was into everything before!
