One week...

I was going to wait to blog about this when I wasn't as sad about it because I don't want to sound like a whinnier...but it has only been one week (it's felt like 3 months) and I am pretty sure I am getting more attitude about it as the days pass on...so here it goes. It all kinda started with my 14 hr. shopping spree on Black Friday. I love everything about Black Friday, the crowds, the deals, the challenge, and the exhaustion. Thank goodness I finished most all my Christmas shopping that night and my house was already decorated. The next few days were just as busy, and that's when I first started noticing my contractions were getting worse. I was pretty sure they were just braxton hicks though. I didn't know that braxton hicks weren't supposed to hurt/take your breath away.  After about 4 days of it Nate made me call my doctor last Friday.  The Dr. said that I had to rest over the weekend, and if I got 6 or more contractions in one hour than I had to go to the hospital. I had 5 contractions an hour for most all of Saturday..yes I recognize now that it would've probably been safer to go in to get checked, but I hate going to the hospital and I still wasn't convinced anything was wrong. Monday morning at my Dr. apt they ran some test that takes 24 hrs to get results back.  The test tells you if you are going to have the baby within a week and that your contractions are starting your labor. Kinda crazy that they can know that from a test. After the test the doctor checked to see if I has dilated and/or effaced.  I am dilated to about a 2 and starting to thin out, so we were ordered to go rt. to the hospital because the Dr. said they could get the labor test results back within 1 hr. and they wanted me hooked to the monitors. Luckily the test came back negative or I wouldn't have been able to go back home! I was contacting while I was monitored, but only had 2 in an hour while resting. I guess I was dehydrated as well, and now that I am pounding water like crazy it has helped a lot.  So as for now, I am on "rest".  I shouldn't really call it bed rest, because I have had friends on bed rest that can't get up to do anything, only go to the bathroom. I am allowed to be on my feet here and there, just for 20-30 min and then have to lay back down. We made a trip to Wal-mart this weekend and it was the highlight of my week. Nate dropped me off right at the door before he parked and I got me the trusty ole' automatic wheel chair. So embarrassing, but so worth it. I could tell I was socially deprived because I was talking to anyone who'd give me the time of day. I am not a phone person at all, I like face to face interaction a lot more so it was nice to see people that weren't on my TV screen.

This is what I hate most about it: 
***I can't hold Kader. It makes me soooo sad. Maybe it is a good for him because he has become at lot closer to Nate this past week.  Kade has had many sleepovers at Nate's parents, they take him the nights Nate has to work. It maybe is easing Kade into not having just me and him 24/7, because when the baby comes I am planning on nursing and that takes up a lot of time at the beginning. Even if it will help with the new baby transition, it still sucks. I am obsessed with my little Kader so this separation has probably been harder on me.  We still snuggle as much as he'll let me while watching cartoons on the love sac.
***I have stay at home all day A.D.D. I can stand being home the whole day. I should use this time to catch up on scrap booking or something, but it doesn't really feel good to sit up. So basically I just feel like a big blob that is lazy around the house. My house is so messy because I can't really bend down to pick up toys.
***I don't get ready unless I am going out, so by 4'oclock in the afternoon and you realize you haven't even brushed your teeth for the day...you really start to feel good about yourself.
***No more Utah for Christmas. I want to cry just writing about it. I wanted Kade to play in the snow and to spend time with Jeff, B, and Dyl, and I will miss our traditional family parties, and HS girlfriends party, and cousins and grandparents. I guess of all the years to have to miss, it ends up being okay because Mark and Nat couldn't come from Hawaii. And a lot of my cousins weren't able to come home either. Still, way sad though. I try not to get jealous when I look at everyone's blogs when they are at their fun family holiday parties.

Forcing myself to look how it's blessed us:
***It's made me even more grateful for my husband and in-laws. They all will go out of their way to help make sure Kade is staying entertained and that I am taking care of this unborn baby by taking it easy. Nate has turned into super dad because now he is our full-time provider, full-time student, the mom and the dad.
***We see how willing people are to help. My ward has been incredible providing meals. I really can still cook, but it has truly helped so much because cooking is hard enough for me even when I don't feel like crap. It makes me want to help others as soon as I get the opportunity to serve because I have seen how willing these amazing people are to help. Also, my girlfriends have been great offering to take Kade, or do whatever I need of them.  I haven't had to take them up on it yet, but it is SOOO nice knowing that if I am ever in a bind I can count on anyone of them in a heartbeat. When we first moved to AZ it was really hard for me to be away from my own family. I still miss them all the time, but I am truly thankful for the friends we have made here and Nate's family being here.  It is humbling to have so many people offer support to me, and I feel like I am not doing anything for anyone else in return besides lay around my house.
***My parent's have decided to drive down Christmas morning. They will spend Christmas eve with our fam there and then come down here to spend a few days with us. It will be great to have them here!
***I realize it could be WAY WAY worse. Anyone that has been on hard core bed rest is probably rolling their eyes thinking I have no idea how much worse it could be. I am also SOOO grateful that the rest is working. My contractions are becoming less painful and less frequent. I am doing my best to stay down because I want whats best for baby Zane, even if it means I gain 500 lbs from being a lazy butt the next 3 long months. I am keeping my fingers crossed that my Dr. will tell me I can add some more "up" time to my day at my next apt.

Kade spends most of the day in Jammies until Nate can come change him, he doesn't seem to mind though.

Indoor football and a house full of tile is not the best combo. It is hard to tell from the pic but the goose egg is literally the size of a golf ball. Don't worry, I was just the cheerleader during the game, Nate and Kade were the players. Our poor lil guy.

It has been so hot here the last few days. I laid on a blanket outside and let Kade run around in the backyard. I had to take his long-sleeve off and let him play in just his diaper because he was sweating! After we came inside he decide to spruce up because someone in the house had to be looking good. He really put my head band on himself, I just tightened it a little.

That looks says, "mom, if you show anyone this picture you are dead meat...and if my daddy see's me like this you are in big trouble!"