Ode to the Single Mothers

I think it’s so funny how I totally thought I was going to know what I was doing when this little man got here. I mean why not…I read every book, bought every baby item, taught school (so maybe thought I had a niche with kids)…and then you throw it all out the window the day the stark drops your little bundle off! J I think that Heavenly Father has a special line in Heaven and gives medals to all the mamas out there, and I think Kade is going to make sure I work for mine. The first week of his life we totally thought that he was the easiest baby ever. Well, I forgot to knock on my 2X4. We were for sure that he had Nate’s personality traits; such as calm, laid back, easy going. And then I think he tricked us…he waited for Grandma Davis to go home and Nate to go back to work. He is a crack up..this child is very strong willed and stubborn. He knows what he wants and won’t stop till he gets it. Heaven forbid he doesn't get his way…hmmm, I wonder where he gets these traits from??? :) He has colic and wants to be moving to sleep. He sleeps so good on our nightly walks in his front back. Everyone says that you have to sleep when they are sleeping...so if I could just master sleeping while walking around I would be set. My heart just tears to pieces when he is crying so hard and when he throws up. I feel so bad for him and want to do ANYTHING to make it go away. I sometimes feel like I am doing something wrong and that's why he's screaming. I always swore that I wouldn't do this and that as a parent... and now I will do whatever it takes. It turns me into a frazzled mother because I don't' sleep at all, but this guy has me wrapped around every little finger.

Now I don't want anyone to think that I am complaining about being a mother. I love Kade more than I ever even knew was possible. He makes me so incredibly happy. He is SUCH a blessing to our lives. I just have to journal how it's going so I can one day and look back and laugh what a crazy mother I was! First, I am sure many of you can relate with this with your husbands working, and/or in school. But Nate works nights at the hospital. So before he starts a shift he has to get a nap in so he can last the 13 hour night. When he gets home he has to sleep...he'll wake up just in enough time to shower, eat, and get ready to go back to work. So I maybe see him 2 hours a day. Just enough time for me to take out my frustrations on him. Lucky man! :) I can survive with my two hours of sleep a night just fine, but around 5 o'clock I start wearing down, and that's right when he wakes up to get ready to leave again. I tried to be a good wife last night and make him dinner before he left. While I was feeding Kade, the water boiled over from the corn on the cob and about lit the house on fire...I dropped a pork chop on the ground...old me probably would've laughed so hard...new, anxiety me, says mean things to my husband like it was all his fault. I really don't know how single mothers do it. I give them such mad props. I give props to every parent out there. I know that there are a lot of people that have much harder issues with their kids, and it really could be a lot worse. Tonight has been SO nice because Nate has the evening off. I feel like a normal couple that can spend the evening together and he can help change a diaper. Kade does so much better when his dad is home. I guess it's true that babies read your stress. I just don't want to do anything wrong, or screw up. This is funny coming from a person that can show up to teach school one minute before the bell rings and not have any lessons planned, and can sneak out of meetings, and do homework on the way to class. But other things in my life I am such a perfection-ist with...and I guess this is one of them.

I have to give some shout outs to all those that have helped me keep some sanity...Thanks to the Sager family, Gma Sager and Heidi for coming over some days to watch him so I can rest! Thanks to my family, Gma and Gpa Davis for sending him cute clothes and letting me call all the time to tell funny stories. Thanks to Brandi for our nightly phone calls...she is very supportive even though I know she had it 1,000 times harder than I do. Thanks to all my girlfriends for answering my texts and questions I have. Shout out to my hubster who still loves me even though I am a crazy, parinod mother. Thanks to those that have brought meals so we didn't have to eat pbj's again! I promise when things start to settle down I will be a better friend and return some of this service I have received.
This mister just doesn't want to sleep. I think he just likes to party and is afraid if he sleeps he'll miss out on something fun. I don't have it in me to let him cry it out. We play binki wars all night, he'll finally doze off but then his binki falls out and it wakes him back up again. He'll scream until I get up and put it back in his mouth. I am a sucker and get up every time to put it back in. I have started pumping and feeding him from bottles so that I can know how much he's taking in. This has helped a lot with his reflex because he loves to pig out and he ate too much while he nursed and then he'd projectile barf it all. The nights Nate works is tough because he will scream and while I try to hurry and pump after a feeding. Then I am up trying to wash the pump and get bottles ready while he sleeps...by the time I am done with that it's about time to eat again. It's been worth it though because he does much better with the bottle. I had to buy a bunch of them to see what he liked best.. I found the Dr. Brown ones help him the most.

Such a curious man!

This was just before his blow out. I was feeding him and I swear more poop ended up on my lap than in his diaper...all I could do was laugh my head off. It was some nasty business!

I love this Monkey boy! One of my favorite parts of the day are story time! He sits in his bumbo and loves me to read to him. He really looks at the pictures. He told me that so far his favorite book is, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" he can't wait to see the movie. I think he wishes he lived in a land that rained food all day :)

I also look forward to our nightly walks. He can't get enough of his snuggli backpack and his moby wrap so he can be bundled. I make up funny songs on our walks that have to dumbest lyrics ever. I just sing whatever comes to mind that rhymes...I love it so much!

Don't you just want to smooch those lips??!! Well, I am hoping next post I have taken a chill pill and am able to relax more. You know when you are a little kid and you think your parents knew everything...you all have to promise to not tell Kade that I don't know what I am doing...but just trying my best!