Perfectly Stated

I am obsessed with reading, and will read most anything I can get my hands on. I had already read Nicholas Sparks', The Wedding, once before but I decided to read it again cause it had been a while and I didn't have anything else to read. I got to a part in the book that had a WHOLE new meaning for me. It is kind of long, but it almost states my feelings perfectly so I want to record it. It seems that motherhood for some people is just a natural talent. I feel like the biggest strug in the world sometimes. Just when I think I am getting a hang of things, then a new trial comes up. I start to feel lame because I don't have a baby with any major health issues, I have support of a wonderful husband and family....but man sometimes it is just hard for me! Kade isn't sleeping through the night anymore. It lasted about 3 weeks and then I don't know what happened. One day I want to just not second guess myself on all my decisions and just feel like I am doing it all just right :)....hmmm, I am not sure that will happen ever. But I can always dream!

SERIOUSLY, this is SO worth reading. Is it considered copy write? Opps...It may sound negative at the beginning...just keep reading to the end :)

"For my wife and I, the most challenging years were those that followed the births of our children. There seems to be a misconception that the first year of a child's life resembles a Hallmark commercial, complete with cooing babies and smiling, calm parents. In contrast, y wife still refers to that period as "the hateful years." By "hateful", what Jane meant was this: There were moments when she hated practically everything. She hated how she looked and how she felt. She hated women whose breasts didn't ache and women who still fit into their clothes. She hated how oily her skin became and hated the pimples that appeared for the first time since adolescence. But it was the lack of sleep that raised her ire most of all, and consequently, nothing irritated her more than hearing stories of other mothers whose infants slept through the night within weeks of leaving the hospital. In fact, she hated everyone who had thee opportunity to sleep more than three hours at a stretch, and there were times, it seemed, that she even hated me for my role in all this. After all, I couldn't breast-feed, and because of my long hours at the law firm, I had no choice but to sleep in the guest room occasionally so I could function at the office the next day. Though I'm certain that she understood this intellectually, it often didn't seem that way. "Good Morning," I might say when I saw her staggering into the kitchen, "How did the baby sleep?" Instead of answering, she would sigh impatiently as she moved toward the coffeepot. "Up a lot?" I'd ask tentatively. "You wouldn't last a week" On cue, the baby would start to cry. Jane would grit her teeth, slam her coffee cup down, and looks as if she wondered why it was the God seemed to hate her so. In time, I learned that it was wiser not to say anything. Then, of course, there is the fact that having a child transforms the basic marriage relationship. No longer are you simply husband and wife, you are mother and father as well, and all spontaneity vanishes immediately. Going out to dinner? Have to find out whether her parents can watch the baby. New movie? Haven't seen one these in over a year. Weekend getaways? Couldn't even conceive of them. This is not to say that the first year was entirely miserable. When people ask me what it's like to be a parent. I say it's among the hardest things you'll ever do, but in exchange, it teachers you the meaning of unconditional love. Everything a baby does strikes a parent as the most magical thing he or she has ever seen. I'll always remember the day each of my children first smiled at me; I remember clapping and watching the tears spill down Jane's face as they took their first steps; and there is nothing quite as peaceful as holding a sleeping child in the comfort of your arms and wondering how it's possible to care so deeply. Those are the moments that I find myself remembering the vivid detail now. the challenges--though I can speak of them dispassionately---are nothing but distant and foggy images, more akin to a dream than reality. No, there's no experience quite like having children, and despite the challenges we once faced, I've considered myself blessed because of the family we created. As I said, however, I've just learned to be prepared for surprises....."


Almost to the T my own thoughts. The non sleeping; Nate having to sleep during the days so he can function for work. Which leaves me all alone during the night.... and basically alone during the day too so he can sleep; Nate and I haven't been on a real date in ages. We tried so hard to arrange for his mom to take Kade. We picked out a matinee movie to see so that we could be back in time to pick up Kade, bring him home, and get him in bed a good time. Well, Kade had a bad afternoon. He wouldn't go down for a nap until right before we were going to leave. By the time I got done with him our movie was almost going to start, and I hadn't had time for myself to get ready and I really wanted to get dressed up a little and try to look cute for once. I was really disappointed that we couldn't go to the movies together. Later that evening we were sitting at the dinner table chatting. I felt a little pat pat on my leg. I look down and Kade had crawled under the table and was giving me the biggest smile. That little stinker just melted my heart and I can't imagine what my life would be like without him. It is so crazy that this spirit who is sometimes my biggest stress in life...is also always my greatest pride and joy.